Bump in the Night

I remember reaching down to my right calf, with my right hand, and locating the small itchy bump. A few scratches with my fingernails should, surely, cease the persistent itch. Yet with each scratch came additional irritation. I suddenly wondered when I would stop dreaming about this situation. It was becoming unpleasant.

It wasn’t long, however, before my mind realized that I was not dreaming this disruptive experience. My right hand was indeed scratching this tiny three-dimensional half circle of itchiness. That is when it happened. With my eyes still closed, trying to trick the concept of awake, I was rudely introduced to several more itchy bumps. As if unexpectedly attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes, I became acutely aware of all the bug bites I must have acquired the day before while hiking in the wilderness.

By this point, both hands were involved and my eyes decided to catch a glimpse of the numbers brightly expressed in red on the machine that alerts me to responsibility most days of the week. Here it was three in the morning, and I found I couldn’t scratch fast enough. Where did this come from? Why now, during this critical time of peace and healing? How am I going to stop it?!

I sat up, and swung my feet over the side of the bed as if I had a solution to this, what I considered, epidemic. Not wanting to plant my feet on the ground, thinking it might constitute “awake” and fearing the consequences of such a state, I decided to lie back down. My mind was determined to beat this nagging side-effect. Thinking that a repetitive statement might work, I closed my eyes and began the art of convincing myself that my bug bites did not itch. “I do not itch. I do not itch. I am itchless.” Refusing to use my hands, it wasn’t long before I noticed my feet moving up and down my legs in an effort to relieve the annoying sensation. “I do not itch. I do not itch. I am itchless, damn it.”

Just as I started picturing myself confronting armies of mosquitoes, and anything else that bites and puts Benadryl to use, I lost track of the itching. The next thing I remember is waking to the sound of my alarm several hours later. How did I fall back asleep? Did I convince myself I didn’t itch? Or did I actually stop itching? Is it possible that they are one and the same? As long as it’s itch-free, I will happily scratch my head on this one.