Independence versus Isolation

A couple weeks ago, after just a brief encounter several months before, a University employee from another department invited me to lunch. The idea had been mentioned in passing, almost as a courtesy, for quite some time, but was finally becoming a reality. As I watched her pay for my food, a custom of the Korean culture, I felt honored by her gesture and eager to learn more about our differences. By the end of this meal, we were friends. It might even be safe to say that she considered me a friend the first time we met. The hesitation I normally observe in developing relationships was not present. She was ready to value, accept and include me in her life, without reciprocation. No hidden agenda, no skepticism. Trust and love was given, not earned. I immediately belonged.

So I cannot say that I was surprised to be invited to a private picnic for the Korean students, faculty and staff from the University at a nearby park this weekend. When asked what to bring, I was told “an appetite.” Upon arrival, I was welcomed by all and offered a seat at the elder table. My eyes and ears couldn’t absorb enough information. There was so much to learn; so much to enjoy and appreciate. As my eyes darted from each menu item, the older gentleman to my left assisted me with descriptions and proper consumption techniques. That is when I learned he also worked at the University as a professor and proceeded to engage me in wonderful philosophical dialogue.

While I had to speak in an attempt to be friendly, I could have happily just watched and listened the entire afternoon. After lunch, the host organization put together some games and activities for the group to enjoy. Everyone, including myself, was invited to participate. Language interpretation was provided. The afternoon ended with a group photograph and hugs goodbye.

Two weeks ago, I would have never thought I would spend an afternoon in the park eating authentic Korean cuisine and being welcomed into a community of people so excitedly. While I usually tend to embrace others and welcome them into my world, I admittedly do so with hesitation. Whatever it is I am trying to protect does not compare to the power of community. Ultimately, I was reminded that my independence does not have to equate to isolation.