Going the Distance

What makes a person determined to do something? I asked this question of myself as I slipped on my PFD (personal flotation device) before jumping into the deep end of my apartment pool to "run" in the water for three hours. I did not ask myself this question a week prior when I overworked my knee while running twenty miles, nor did I ask myself this question when I signed up for a marathon over six months ago. Now that I am injured, however, I find this question to be ever so important. What has driven me to the point of "Googling" knee injuries acquired by running, asking co-workers advice on rehab, icing my knee at lunch in the vacant conference room, and strapping myself to the pool ladder to build resistance while running in the water using some rope and a carabiner? Why am I so determined to fix the problem that might prevent me from running this marathon in a few weeks?

I have never considered myself to be a runner, and I am not sure I will ever claim this title. For the first time, running is something I do more for my mind than my body. Since running is not something I am necessarily passionate about, I can only assume the roots run deeper (so to speak). Is it the reward of conquering a challenge...meeting a goal? Putting to test the anything-is-possible claim? I cannot assume either of these since marathons can be found most anywhere, several times a year. Am I attributing my success as a person to the completion of this task? Am I trying to prove something to someone? Am I trying to prove something to myself? While I would like to think that my self-worth is not determined by the completion of this marathon, I must seriously question my intentions of determination when my physical needs are being talked over with Nike slogans and psychological warfare.